Real talk… When you see me, it is obvious that I am pregnant. I get that. A little dose of honesty… I’ve even found myself comparing my bump to other baby bumps I see on IG, thinking things like “I look bigger than she does and she’s 6 weeks further along than me!” More honesty… that’s ridiculous! Our bodies are all different… I happen to carry very narrow, which makes me carry further out. Regardless, our bodies are all amazing, doing amazing things!
The thoughts, fears & anxieties that may be running through a pregnant mama’s head are something that can’t be seen. All we want is to have healthy babies. More than physically draining, it’s emotionally & mentally draining to decipher when to get all the things done (hello, we’re preparing for another human to come into our world that we’re totally responsible for) and when to rest, when to say no (the birthday party I cancelled to attend over the weekend), what’s truly necessary and what’s not… especially for someone who wants my girls and husband to see me as strong at all times. I in no way am looking for pity – this is no comparison game – we’re all doing our best to grow healthy little humans. Since we’re in this together, I know you feel me with the comments people make to pregnant women that are quite shocking and seriously not helpful, so I compiled a (humorous) little list of phrases pregnant women hear along with a few alternatives.
Here are a few ways to have a hormonally driven woman break down on you. Every single one of the below comments have been said directly to me, seriously:
- “Well that baby is about ready to come out!” Wait! Are you a doctor?!
- “Are you sure you aren’t having twins again?!” Modern technology is pretty good at answering that question – I literally said that to someone
- “How much longer do you have?” Me: “12 weeks” Them: “Bless your heart!” – we all know this is the #1 Southern way of patronizing someone
- “When are you due?… Are you going to make it?!” Are. you. kidding me?!
What is happening inside of every pregnant woman’s body is nothing short of a miracle.
Even the challenges that have come along with this pregnancy (hello contractions), can’t take away from the beauty of this experience for me at all. Above everything, I love having life inside of me. To feel my child kick inside of me is something that never gets old, even the second time around. You won’t see me sharing bare bump pictures because on the outside it doesn’t look so beautiful (thank you twins), but what’s happening inside of me is truly beautiful.
Since I really don’t believe people mean to be offensive and that they probably just don’t know what to say (although pregnant women have been around for a really long time), here are a few ideas to try to help change the conversation:
- “You look great!” Lie if you have to!
- “You’re a rockstar.” Because we are
- “You got this mama!” Straight up encouragement!
- “I hope you’re getting the rest you need. Is there anything I can do to take something off your plate?” – We probably won’t take you up on it (gotta maintain that ‘super mom’ status) but the offer alone will make you a God-send.
Just know, regardless of how “big” the bump is, her body is hard at work & a little encouragement could go a long way.
So while we’re here, a little 28-week update:
Baby size: The standard fruit comparison is an eggplant this week. For fun I looked up a couple other options: bigger than a burrito with the works or about the size of a giant banana split.
Symptoms: Last week I started having contractions that became more and more regular, getting to 3 minutes apart consistently. Thank God for amazing friends/neighbors who took our girls in so Zach could get me to the hospital. After every other effort to make them stop, I ended up having ‘the shot’ that makes them stop immediately. Good news – I showed no signs of preterm labor (in spite of the contractions) and I’m super grateful I was put on bed rest for only 24 hours. Not so great – it was Zach’s birthday… Wife of the year right here!
What I’m loving: I’m feeling more and more connected to this baby boy of ours. I freak Zach out because I randomly talk to him when he’s dancing around in my belly and he doesn’t know who I’m talking to. When it’s just me and the baby, I sing to him – typically Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star because..
Wardrobe: Still fitting into my regular pants (completely unbuttoned with belly band), but almost none of my tops are covering the belly completely anymore. I’m feeling like I may just have to break down and buy maternity clothes
Nursery update: The crib and glider from The Kraze’s nursery have been set up and a couple items I’ve ordered specific for him have arrived – will be sharing soon!
Big Sisters: They talk about/to him as if he’s already here. If they bump my belly (which isn’t hard to do), they say “Sorry baby brother!” and pat my belly.